Why does Santa always go down the chimney? Because it “soots” him!
Why was Santa’s little helper depressed? Because he had low elf esteem!
Why does Santa have 3 gardens? So he can ho-ho-ho!
How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas? Fleece Navidad!
Why did Santa spell Christmas N-O-E? Because the angel said, “No L!”
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic.
Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer? Because every buck is dear to him.
Why is Christmas just like a day at the office? You do all the work and the fat guy with the suit gets all the credit.
Whats a good holiday tip? Never catch snowflakes with your tongue until all the birds have gone south for the winter.
What does Mrs. Claus sing Santa on his birthday? “Freeze a jolly good fellow!”
What do you call someone who doesn’t believe in Father Christmas? A rebel without a Claus!
What does Santa like to have for breakfast? Mistle-“toast”!
Why does Santa take presents to children around the world? Because the gifts won’t take themselves!
What did Santa say to Mrs. Claus when he looked out the window? Looks like “rain”,”Dear”!
What goes oh, oh, oh? Santa Claus walking backwards!
Why won’t Santa eat Twinkies? He would rather eat Ho-Hos