If you have been following my blog you may know that me and my family lived in Ohio and I was working as an independent technology consultant.  The work at the bank was going really well.  I was slowly getting the management team to take responsibility for using the new application in a way that it was meant to be used.  If they continued in this manner, the bank would reduce their expenses which was the original purpose of the application.

By this time my son was 3 1/2 years old.  During week days he was in day care, even though I was reluctant to do so. He was a typical healthy little boy who goes through some typical illnesses. When he was really young he had quite a few ear infections and we ended up putting tubes in his ears.

Around that same time a doctor said he heard a heart murmur, which was a little scary. After the tests it was determined it was not a hole in the heart. What the doctor heard was probably due to thin walls between the chambers.

It was a Sunday evening when our lives extremely diverged down a different path. It was just me and my son together at the time. My husband had recently went on  a business trip to West Africa.

Up to this time I was enjoying being a mom. My son was the delight of my life. I was gracious to have him in my life. He really was my little miracle baby. I was enthralled with watching his development and achievements. I know this sounds odd, but it was fascinating to watch him evolve from a infant to an independent little boy. He was energetic, a quick learner, and joyful with the life that was given him. As a mom, the experience could not be any better.

That March Sunday evening we had just finished eating and I was washing clothes. I was getting things organized for the coming week. Our laundry area was in a room adjacent to the kitchen. Just off to the side at  the entry way to the kitchen was our computer.

The day before this Sunday, my son had discovered a new hobby which was the beginning of him loving games. I had introduced him to the world of computers at a very young age. Even when he was a pre-toddler I had a software application that a baby could play with. Touching any key on the keyboard caused a visual and audible response. This way a young child could interact with it and not need any knowledge of how to use a keyboard or a mouse or even what a computer was.

It was on that Saturday that my son realized that there was a whole new way of having fun. Throughout that day, he obsessively played games on the computer. It was hard to get him to stop and eat. Then on Sunday I decided the computer was off limits for most of the day. That evening, while I was finishing up some chores, I let him play while I finished up my chores before bedtime.

I was carrying a load of clothing into the laundry when I glanced toward the computer where he was sitting.  Seeing him facing me, I immediately knew something was wrong.  His face was turned upward and looked as if he was stuck in the pose.  His eye lids were shut and his hands were up to his face, as if he didn’t understand why his eyes were closed. 

Soon his body started to have jerking movements.  I instantly grabbed him before he fell off the chair.  It was then that I noticed he was not breathing.  As I held him I lightly pounded on his upper back.  I didn’t know CPR, but had learned mouth to mouth resuscitation when I was very young.  I laid him down on the couch and was tilting his chin up when he started breathing again.  I was immediately relieved, but the crisis was not over.

Meanwhile his body was having these pulse-like movements and his eyes were still closed with twinge movements behind the eyelids. I felt like this was an awful dream.  I knew I should call 911.  I am not real sure how much time had went by.  It felt like a long time but was probably more like five minutes or so.  Before I could dial the phone, his eyes opened and the pulsing movements quit.  It then took several more minutes before he talked.  It was at that moment that I realized he had a seizure.  The adrenalin in me was slowing down and I broke down sobbing.

The whole experience was frightening. A first-time seizure isn’t anything you expect or that you can prepare for. You wonder, how could something so jarring affect this wonderful little creation that has come into your life. How could something so numbing attack that which is in your life that is pure innocence?

You ask yourself, why my son? Why my family? Did we do something that lead to this? Is this retribution? If so, for what? And why my son? He does not deserve this. If only the burden could be put on my shoulders. Let him live his life the fullest, and not have this cloud hanging over him. Even though we had not seen a physician yet, something inside me told me our life had changed and we were headed down a different path.

To be continued . . .

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