Posts Tagged ‘infertile’

If you have been following my previous posts, I am continuing with a description of how J.O., my son, came into my life.  Read my previous posts to review the story from the beginning.

At the time I had a technology consulting  job in which I did quite a bit of traveling.  We knew that my job was not very conducive to supporting this IVF process.  So, I resigned from my job.  The owner of the company wanted to know why.   I told her that I needed to concentrate on making a baby and my current job would make that difficult.  I told her that making a baby was more important than any job. She convinced me to stay with the company and she assigned me a project that I could do without traveling.  She said we could revisit the decision once the IVF process was successful. 

Lucky me. I could pursue this dream that had many risks, and still not jeopardize my job. If it worked, beautiful. If it didn’t work out, besides experiencing heart-break, we at least had a safety net in regard to our financial situation.

Roadblock three had been removed.  I did not have to quit my job and the job was not going to be an impediment to me making a baby.

More to come later. . .

If you have been following my previous posts,  I am continuing with a description of how J.O., my son, came into my life.  Read my previous posts to review the story from the beginning.  Also, sorry for the brief interlude where I took a little turn off the main road for a moment of passionate opinion.

So, in about a month I ended the consulting project that I had been working on and made an appointment with the specialist, which was in about 2 weeks.  Finally the meeting date came.  I was so anxious.  I was very determined to have a child, but I also did not really know what it meant to do IVF.   In our first meeting with the specialist he introduced himself and said, “So, you are interested in in vitro fertilization?”  I responded, “We are not interested in in vitro fertilization.  We are going to do in vitro fertilization.”  I immediately got his attention and he could see that I was a very determined woman.

In those days, and maybe it is true today, typically there was a hierarchy of steps that you had to go through to address  infertility. Typically you could not just jump in and do IVF.  Other fertility methods had to be tried first.  I am not sure why it was this way or if it is still that way today.  Perhaps it was a convenient way for the health care industry to take advantage of desperate situations and make more money. Cynical?  Not really, just very observant. 

So once the specialist heard about my history of eptopic pregnancies, there was no problem moving straight forward to the discussion of  IVF.  The specialist described, in detail, the entire process and the risks associated with the process.  During this discussion I asked the specialist what were the chances of us accomplishing this.  His response was, “Well, your old and you smoke.”  He continued to explain how age and smoking negatively affect the process.  Well there wasn’t anything I could do about my age.  I had just turned 40 years old two weeks earlier, and there is not much more I can say about that issue.  But his statement about smoking caught my attention.  I quit smoking that very day in that very moment.  I had smoked for over 20 years.  I had tried quitting many times, but it never lasted.  It is funny how circumstances in life can change your motivation to do things.  That concept seems to be a prevailing theme throughout my life.

More to come later. . .

 My husband and I wanted children really bad.  Out of the blue, circumstances kind of fell all into place.  We knew that we needed to rely on medical technology to help us accomplish this.  We were out of time and the old-fashioned way of getting pregnant  was obviously not working.  Coincidently, there were a number of factors that had occurred which made having a baby more of a reality rather than a wish. 

We knew we had to do in vitro fertilization, which was very expensive at the time.  Coincidently, my husband had just accomplished getting our income into an upward swing.  One road block had been removed.  We knew we could afford the procedure.  I should say we knew we could afford to have the procedure at least one time.

We had also just moved to a small town and my husband had developed a friendship with a gentleman whose daughter had just done IVF and ended up having twins.   This gentleman referred us to his daughter’s specialist in a nearby city.   

Road block two had just been removed.  We now had a specialist identified to do the IVF.

More to come later. . .

For those of you that have not met me on Twitter or Facebook, let me give you a chance to get to know me.  If you read my previous post you already know that I am a mother.  I have one son, J.O., who is about to be 12 years old and he is the joy of my life.   He is now in 6th grade and going to Middle School.  It is really a miracle  how  J.O. came into my life.  

My husband and I had some rough times having children.  When I was in my early 30’s I had two ectopic pregnancies, each resulting in emergency surgery and a removal of one of my fallopian tubes.  After the second ectopic pregnancy I wanted to know if it was even viable for me to get pregnant.  I wanted a test to ensure that I did not have a blockage in my remaining tube.  That process was crazy because in those days the procedure was classified as an infertility procedure and insurance would not cover infertility treatment.  I argued with the insurance company and explained I did not want a infertility procedure.  I already knew I was fertile and I had two pregnancies to prove it.  My issue was getting the embryo to develop in my uterus and not in my tubes.  Believe it or not I won that argument and I had the test which indicated there was no blockage.  At least then, we knew it was still possible for me to get pregnant.

After the second ectopic pregnancy we agreed that we would continue trying to have children until I was 40 years old.  Before I knew it I was about to turn 40 and we had not achieved our goal.  I went into a total panic! 

More to come later. . .